camp recap, and bottles.

this was actually posted on saturday, but continued on into the wee hours of sunday morning.

i realize it's been quite awhile since my last post, and i knew it was inevitable in that i wouldn't be able to post every day—(i lose motivation to do simple tasks quite often). i've decided to no longer number the posts, for who knows when i'll post next; this way i'll manage to create a sexy, air of mystery about myself. i'll probably tend to go more in-depth with my posts from now on; this is similarly debatable, considering i'm very inconsistent and unpredictable when it comes to blog keeping.

here we go.

recently i went to academy camp, and although i'm not necessarily allowed to talk about the processes that accompany its magic, i will say that the timing was impeccable. after [x] broke up with me, i was left on a pretty extreme mood rollercoaster of sorts—after planning carnival, i was met with one of the worst breakups i've ever endured. i'm thankful for camp, alleviating me of this stress; but, i'm more thankful for the friendships i was able to forge:

julia was probably one of my greatest sources of strength. as we climbed the "giant's ladder", i realized i was actually afraid of heights; alarming, considering i'm all for adventurous activities. i'm thankful for the courage she bestowed upon me to complete the climb, and i'm also thankful for her friendship. she's someone who really knows how to make others feel welcome and comfortable and i felt so candid and alive in her presence.

tani wasn't someone i thought i'd get so close to, but i found myself seeking refuge in her embraces, and reassuring smiles. i honestly don't know what it was, but we instantly created this unbreakable bond, and i'm so grateful for her compassionate, carefree nature.

ryan and ethan were a great surprise to me. i never thought myself to have made split judgments about people—i suppose i drew judgments through my (now, ex-)relationship with [x]. both ryan and ethan had some insightful, inspirational stories to share, and i'm thankful for camp's loving environment that allowed us to create the friendship we currently share.

i also should mention the rest of the people in my camp group, whom i'm equally appreciative of (yet have no energy to write about currently): mama cody, papa grace, tag, trev/jud0b0ii808, (jimmy)falon, ishii-senpai, nicky, mi$helle. i love you all so dearly! *slurp-slurp-slurp*

team a: the awesome, amazing, acidic, anacondas

i'd like to thank camp, for giving me the "courage to grow"—(...oh god, i can't believe i said that). i suppose i like to be perceived as someone who is extremely self-aware, and as much as i've already matured, i'm never opposed to more challenges of self-discovery. camp was the first time i've cried in awhile; i've been bottling up emotions for the sake of preserving my sanity, something that's done a lot more harm than good. i'm thankful for camp allowing me to feel again.

alright, enough about camp.

more reasons to be thankful:

• tap dance - caryn allows me much freedom as a student choreographer, and i feel she's entrusted me with incredible responsibility. although, she is my teacher and i am her student, i'm honored to call her one of my friends. tap today was possibly the greatest stress relief i've felt since camp; i had holoku practice prior to tap and it's not an activity i enjoy, to be frank. the aunties are rude, and don't respect any other form of dance besides hula; tap company, and all of its members, provided me with a larger sense of artistic license, and i'm thankful to have them as an outlet for my choreographic ideas.
• kelley and emma slept over last night. i'm thankful for friends who are capable of having fun without smoking incredulous amounts of weed or consuming alcohol. we played video games and ate pizza, something quite normal; yet, i wouldn't be as grounded without my clean, sober fun.
• dr. herzer's letting me run for president despite my absence for both of the mandatory meetings. i talked with him, and he was nothing but courteous to me. i'm grateful for the opportunity to create significant change within my graduating class and even if i don't win, then i'll consider applying to be a graduation co-chair.
• victoria asked me to her prom! and i left my phone at the dance pavilion out of excitement! but it's alright because ahnya found it and it is currently in safekeeping.
• i was asked to perform slam poetry with sterling and serena at a banquet for 'olelo volunteers. i don't know why i was chosen—of all people involved in the youth slam scene—but i was humbled by the opportunity to share my internalized thoughts amongst a group of complete strangers. also, i hung out with serena and sterling afterwards. we walked to ala moana and played a game of charades with a bottle...i'm not sure how to explain it, so i won't. i'll save that moment for my own, personal amusement.
• finally, i'm thankful i saw austin at the bookstore. i didn't realize how much i had ignored him for the majority of high school (for reasons i can't actually specify). it seems a bit late to pick up our friendship as he is nearing graduation; however, i was warmed to know that he had never forgotten about me. it was a pretty heartfelt discussion we had although we were simply browsing through japanese comics, and romance novels. i am thankful for the opportunity to rekindle a friendship i had never wanted to relinquish.

everything is how it should be. my sister is twenty-one right now, and alive. and i'm so thankful for that. my life—even when muddled with seemingly unfortunate events—is exactly how i want it to be. and i cannot wait to see what happens as this year continues unraveling.