winding down.

well. i've never really expected this to be read by anyone—for i began this blog with the intent that it would be there as a constant outlet to pour my positive emotions. i'm sorry i've been gone for so long, but only recently have i been made aware that this was being read by some wonderful friends (you know who you are). i will continue maintaining this as necessary for i've realized how much i do actually enjoy looking back on these posts and experiencing large bits of nostalgia. thanks for putting up with my inconsistency.

it is nearing the end of the school year, and i couldn't be more thankful for the experiences i've been bestowed with. moreover, i'm still very much excited for the things i've yet to accomplish. although a part of me will always continue to gravitate towards negativity—as is in my human nature—there have been some key moments that have occurred throughout this school year (e.g. carnival, function, winter camp) and i realize that i'm extremely lucky. i've also been acknowledged for my many academic pursuits in regards to english. i've had the pleasure of serving as one of three coaches for the school's slam poetry team, i've been hired as a ta for the summer's academy english program, and this thursday, i will be awarded with academic recognition for my pursuits in the english language. i will stick true to being humble and stop there, but i'm still very much thankful that i've found something i'm passionate about. i hope to achieve more successes and failures in the future.

recently, dance has become such a prevalent part of my life. i was invited to a callback for an upcoming diamond head theatre musical, "xanadu", and although i was not cast, i'm grateful for the opportunity i was given to display my knowledge. many, many thanks to tammy colucci for being so gracious with me—i've learned a great deal from her although i've merely taken two of her classes. also, i wouldn't have been shaped into the dancer i am today without the constant help of my teachers: caryn yee, christine yasunaga, and charlys ing. i've never been more fit in my life, and i've truly realized that my future cannot be sustained without the continuation of dance.

going back to the end of school—i'm very much saddened by the soon-to-be graduating class of 2012. the class is comprised of many choice people, and i will forever be touched by the friendships they've provided me. particularly my best friend kamden, with whom i've been grabbing lunch with during our weekly three-hour breaks. i honestly don't know what i'm going to do next year without someone who will accept my crude humor; without someone who constantly pushes me beyond my writing boundaries. i will truly miss this particular gem of a being.

well, i guess we really are that awkward.

i keep acknowledging the same two people in my life, but that's because i have too many people whom i so cherish and too many experiences to recall. i've had some pretty long, extensive conversations with another one of my best friends, emily. i don't know anyone in my life who will ever understand my cynicism—and my behavior resultant of too much caffeine, and too little sleep—better than she. i've realized that i need to take more initiative in regards to my relationships, and although i sometimes fail in social situations, there's a greater failure in not taking that initiative in the first place. i've found someone i can truly be philosophical, honest, and comfortable with - a sophisticated kind of friendship i didn't think i'd find until my late 20s (i don't know why i typed that last part, but i'm keeping it there). many thanks for the coffees, mixtapes, and conversations shared; i know i can forever count on you.

finally, i'd like to thank yet another one of my best friends, ariel. i recently went over to her house to aid her in a time of need, and she provided me with such great insights into my own struggles with my former-relationship. also, she took me to this part of her backyard where at night, the stars are truly glimmering. it reminded me much of sylvia plath's "black rook in rainy weather", where plath basically states how it is a trick that nature could be so beautiful at times. my time with ariel really inspired me to begin writing again, and confront my current situation with said former-relationship.

the bones in my back are growing. and to add on to all this positivity, i just got a $30 tax return from the united states treasury. things are ending, but i've also been lead to believe that things, are forever growing, and changing. and i find i'm very excited about this.

very much excited indeed.